Title: Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg Intelligence Test

conversation text:

We thought we'd play a little game,
it's called Does Daddy Really Know Best?

You two will be a team.

Let's bring out our other contestant.

From A.E. Wright Middle School,
please welcome 11-year-old Zachary Rifkin.

Boo!

[APPLAUSE]

[MUSIC]

[APPLAUSE]
Hey, man.

You're going down.

We're watching you, boy.

You're going down.
We're watching you.

Back off, back off, back off.

Don't play no games, boy.

He is not joking.

Hi, Zachary.

[LAUGH] And
you guys think you're funny.

That's funny.

All right, sit.

Come here, Zachary.

Hi, Zachary, how are you doing?
Good, how are you?

I'm good.

Okay, leave the money in your pocket.

[LAUGH]
So, do you know these guys?
You know their movies?

Yeah.

What movies do you know?

I know Daddy's Home, I know Elf.

Right.

[APPLAUSE]
I know-

Boogie Nights?

Boogie Nights?

[LAUGH] Boogie Nights?

Yeah, I know that one.

No, I don't, I don't know that one.
[LAUGH]
You sure?

Yeah.
No, that's all I know.

All right, well, that's all right.
And do think you're gonna win?

You think you're smarter than them?

Okay.

[LAUGH]
All right.

You look smarter than us,
that's for sure.

How do you do in school, pretty well?
I do pretty well, yeah.

I'm a straight-A student.

Good, that's good.

[APPLAUSE]
All right,

you can get behind your podiums-
There we go, okay.

And I will ask the questions.

[LAUGH]
All right, now,
you can see you might have to
write something down, you may not.

Okay, well, that's your department.

[CROSSTALK]
I won't be buzzing anything.

Two of the biggest stars on
the planet are Will and Mark.

What is the seventh planet from the sun?

[SOUND]
Yes, Zachary?

Neptune.

Uranus.

Yes, it is!

Hey, yours.

[SOUND]
[APPLAUSE]

You hear what he said about you?

He said up your anus.
[LAUGH]
Man, this kid is a.

Here we go, it's 1 to 0.

Here we go.

Wow.

How many legs does a butterfly have?

That- [SOUND]
Yes, Will?

Dude, you scared me, man!

[LAUGH]
How many legs does a butterfly have?

Can you repeat the question?

[LAUGH]
You know, when I hit a shot and

it lands real soft on the green,
just a little spin back,

I say it landed like
a butterfly with sore feet.

How many-
Four.

No.

[SOUND]
Zachary?

Six.

That's right.

[SOUND]
[APPLAUSE]

Yeah, keep that fired up.

Are you looking stuff up?

I'm asking Siri a couple of questions.
[LAUGH]
Okay, let's see if Siri is as fast.

Here we go.
A heptagon is a shape with how many sides?

[SOUND]
Seven.

That's right.

[APPLAUSE]
Yes, you got a heptagon!
Enjoy it while you can,
that's the only one you get.

Hey, we got a heptagon, boy.

All right.

[LAUGH] Boy.

Zachary's getting cocky.

You got a heptagon?

You got a heptagon?

I got one!

I'm gonna turn you into
a heptagon after this is over.

[LAUGH]
How many bones are in a typical adult

human's body?

[SOUND]
Zachary.

206.

That's right.

[SOUND]
[APPLAUSE]
As Gwen Stefani once said,

this blank is bananas, B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

[SOUND].

So spell bananas backwards.

[LAUGH]
I thought you said the word [BLEEP].

That's the lyrics to the song.

Yeah, but I didn't want to say
[BLEEP] cuz there's a kid here.

[APPLAUSE]
But you just said [BLEEP].
You said [BLEEP].
You said [BLEEP].

I said [BLEEP].
Now you said [BLEEP] how many times?
Four.

My mom talks like a truck driver and
I have a 15-year-old sister.

Really?

So you're fine.
[LAUGH]
You're cool.

Yeah.
Mom talks like a truck driver-

All right,

spell bananas backwards, Will.

Aerospace engineers are foul-mouthed.

[LAUGH]
Write it out, then, just so they know.
B-A-N-A-N-A-S.

S-A-N-A-N-A-B.

That's right!

[SOUND]
[APPLAUSE]

3 to 2.

Who starred in the movie The Other Guys?

[SOUND]
Sam Jackson, Dwayne Johnson.

And Will Ferrell.

And Mark Wahlberg
Yeah, Mark Wahlberg and Will Ferrell.

[SOUND].

All right.

It's all tied up
All right, here we go.

Here we go.
We're back on track.

Okay.

What is 4/7 plus 1/16?

[LAUGH]
[LAUGH]
[SOUND]

[LAUGH] Zachary?
112, something 112.

[APPLAUSE]
112.

It's 71/112.

That's right [LAUGH].

[SOUND]
[APPLAUSE]

Hey, I gotta give it to you

on that one, man.

I'm on your team now.

[SOUND]
Yeah, yeah.

I'm gonna come on your team.