Title: IVANKA TRUMP!!

Conversation text:

SPEAKING OF REPUBLICAN

DYNASTIES, THERE'S ONE MEMBER OF THE TRUMP FAMILY PEOPLE RESPECT: IVANKA.

SHE'S GOTTEN A TON OF PRAISE FROM THE RIGHT FOR HER POISE AND INTELLIGENCE.

AT THE SAME TIME, IT TURNS OUT, SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHAT WORDS MEAN.

THIS WEEK, ON TWITTER, VICE WRITER EVE PEYSER COMPILED A LIST OF ALL THE WORDS IVANKA HAS USED INCORRECTLY, AND IT'S A REAL FORTNIGHT.

FOR EXAMPLE, WHEN TALKING ABOUT HER AND JARED'S MORNING ROUTINE SHE SAID,

MY HUSBAND HAS INCREDIBLY LONG HOURS, SO I TRY TO KEEP MINE ON A RELATIVE BASIS.

YOU THINK SHE'D KNOW HOW TO USE \"RELATIVE,\" BECAUSE HER WHOLE CAREER IS ON \"A RELATIVE BASIS.\"

Jon: OH!

TURNS OUT – AND WE'VE KNOWN THIS FOR A LITTLE WHILE --

SHE ALSO DOESN'T HAVE THE STRONGEST GRASP OF THE WORD \"COMPLICIT.\"

>> IF BEING COMPLICIT IS WANTING TO BE A FORCE FOR GOOD AND TO MAKE A POSITIVE IMPACT, THEN I'M COMPLICIT.

>> STEPHEN: IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT.

BUT, BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT, SHE MIGHT'VE JUST BEEN TRYING TO MAKE A POINT AND ACTUALLY KNOWS WHAT IT MEANS TO BE COMPLICIT.

>> I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT MEANS TO BE COMPLICIT.

>> STEPHEN: OKAY.

HERE'S ONE FROM TWITTER: \"I CANNOT BELIEVE THAT THEODORE IS EIGHT MONTHS OLD TODAY! HAPPY BIRTHDAY.\"

>> STEPHEN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY? HE'S EIGHT MONTHS OLD!

EITHER IVANKA DOESN'T GET HOW BIRTHDAYS WORK, OR DO RICH PEOPLE GET MORE BIRTHDAYS THAN WE DO?

AND THEN THERE'S THIS GEM.

CUDDLING MY LITTLE NEPHEW LUKE, THE BEST PART OF AN OTHERWISE INCREDIBLE DAY!

THAT IS A DUMB STATEMENT IN AN OTHERWISE STUPID TWEET.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

NOW, A LOT OF PEOPLE HAVE MADE FUN OF IVANKA ONLINE FOR THIS, BUT I'D LIKE TO SAY SOMETHING IN HER DEFENSE.

I'M A LITTLE BIT COMPLICIT WITH IVANKA HERE.

IF COMPLICIT IS HERETOFORE DEFINED AS \"I SUPPORT HER,\" WHICH IT TIMELESSLY DOESN'T.

I KNOW THIS ALL SEEMS HUMOROUS BUT, ALBEIT, IT IS NOT.

IVANKA RISES AT THE APEX OF SUNSHINE AND DOES A LOT OF GOOD ON A RELATIVE BASIS.

IN FACT, THE ENTIRE TRUMP FAMILY IS A BIG PART OF AN OTHERWISE GREAT COUNTRY.

THANK YOU.

AND, IN CONCLUSION, I MIGHT ADD, SUMMARIZING LASTLY, HAPPY BIRTHDAY.

WE HAVE A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT.